User:ServativeSeth

So this all started back in the thirties when WWII started. I got drafted. I don't know why. I wasn't even in the army. I went off to Germany, and I was part of the squad that raided the bunker the day Hitler died. We saw Hitler, and the other guys were amazed. Here was this guy, who had killed 3 million people, sitting right here at the end of our guns. They wanted to execute him as quickly as possible, but I knew that Hitler couldn't be killed so easily, and if we tried, it would just end in the deaths of everyone in our squad. So I told them he could be useful, and they decided to let him live. We camped there for the night, and I had to watch Hitler, since keeping him alive was my idea. I was surprised to find that he spoke very fluent English. He told me that if I let him go, he would grant me too of his greatest possessions: the God Gender, and the Rap talent. I was really tired so I let him go. I awoke the next morning to find I wasn't in the bunker with my crew, but on what appeared to be a bus from the inside. I was laying on the floor, and there were a lot of people in the bus with me. My guess is about a hundred. I felt really...different. Gender wise, that is. But I was whisked from my God-gender thoughts when everybody jumped out of the bus. I had done a short VR skydiving segment when I got drafted, just in case. I felt confident in my skills. I jumped out of the bus. I fell, and fell, until I realized that I had no Hitlerdamn clue where to land. I asked some guy, and he said, "Ah yeah, Tilted Towers is the place to land." So that's where I went. On a map I had, it said 'Tilted Towers' in one area all over one spot. I was about 100 meters from the ground and I didn't have my parachute out. I thought I was a goner, but luckily my 'glider' auto-deployed, and I landed safely right in the middle of the street. Right in the middle of the street. Thirty different guys started shooting at me, and I just ran. I hid in a bush that I found not far from where I landed. I could see that clouds were gathering, but luckily they all seemed to stay away from my location. I just stayed there for about thirty minutes until they storm surrounded my location, but it wasn't quite over me. It came closer, and then I had to go back into the town to stay safe. When I got there, I saw two guys shooting at each other. I wasn't sure who was going to win, but then, they slipped, and both fell to their deaths. I just stood there, clueless as to what had befallen me. Then, I saw a blue banner in front of me that read in large letters, #1 Victory Royale. I had no idea what that meant, but then the whole world faded away just as the storm met in one spot, and covered the whole area. I sat straight up, really disoriented. I was in what looked to be a room straight out of science fiction. Holographic computers lined the walls, and there where several doctors looking at me. I only could find three words to say, the first two being "what" and "the." A smiling woman told me that after I had acquired the God Gender, the scientists put me in a coma for 7 decades to study the God Gender. They woke me up after all this time only to stop a new threat...Thanos and the Infinity Stones. She told me that the God Gender was so powerful that it could defeat the Infinity Stones, which had literally created the universe. They had decided to study my responses through the latest technology...a game of Fortnite. She said I had done very well, but I was going to have to do more than hide in a bush the entire time to defeat Thanos. I shrugged, and then she started talking about my other ability...Rap. She told me that they studied my rap ability intensely, and they modeled a music genre to try and identify others who had the ability. They genetically engineered an infant to have this talent. That infant's name, she said, was Marshall Mathers. However, the experiment failed when he turned on President Trump, and it turned out that the liberal media had gotten to him. They told me that I was humanity's last hope, and I better not dissolve into a cloud of dust like all the other avengers. I told her that the God Gender could not be defeated so easily, and then she told me to prove it. So now I'm here.