User:GoldenSandslash15/YGOGXTAS

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: The Abridged Series

(Jaden runs through the street)

JADEN: Oh man. I think I’m gonna be late. At least no one will get in my way. Seriously, no one else is moving. What is up with that? MAN 1: Damn. I really hate freeze tag. MAN 2: Yeah. Who’s it, anyway? MAN 1: I dunno. JADEN: Really weird.

(Jaden bumps into Yugi)

YUGI: Check out my Super Special Awesome new voice. JADEN: Super Special Awesome? Oh, you’re- YUGI: That’s a nice duel disk you’ve got there. It’s the original model, right? JADEN: Yep. YUGI: Then you are hereby under arrest for not using a GX-style Duel Disk. JADEN: Oh, come on. Nobody likes those compared to the originals. YUGI: Hm. You’ve got a point there. All right. Oh. By the way, take this card. JADEN: What the- This card’s weak! YUGI: I know. Did you seriously think that I’d give up my most powerful cards. JADEN: Honestly, no. But, it would have made life a lot easier.

(Intro sequence – Japanese GX Season 4 theme up until “Keep Holding On!”)

(Jaden arrives at the academy entrance exams)

EXAM PROCTOR: Everyone who’s late may no longer compete. JADEN: Hey, can I compete? EXAM PROCTOR: Sure. Why not?

(Bastion’s duel)

BASTION: And now, I activate Ring of Destruction. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: You intend to destroy my monsters? BASTION: Nonsense. Your cards are in defense mode. Ring of Destruction only affects attack mode creatures. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: No it doesn’t. BASTION: Yes it does. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: No it doesn’t. BASTION: Yes it does. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: No it doesn’t. BASTION: Yes it does. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: Are you sure? BASTION: Positive. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: Well, you’re wrong then. BASTION: Why are your cards in defense mode anways? I mean, seriously, what kind of deck is that? Do you honestly expect to win with that? BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: No. (sob) I could never win. (lots of sobs) I really need to go home and think about what I want to do with my life. (sobs some more) BASTION: Well, feel free to forfeit the duel then. BASTION’S TEST OPPONENT: I shall! Welcome to the academy.

(up in the stands)

OBELISK BLUE STUDENT: (western accent) Well, yeehaw! That’s some fancy-shmancy duelin’ folk raught ova dere! What do yah make of dat cowpoke, Chazz? CHAZZ: He truly is amazing. It takes a lot of skill to win by forfeit.

(in the teacher area)

EXAM PROCTOR: Um, Mr. Crowler? CROWLER: It’s not “Mister!” EXAM PROCTOR: I apologize, Mrs. Crowler. CROWLER: Ugh. Is it really that hard to tell the difference between a man and a woman? EXAM PROCTOR: For me, yes. I’m bisexual. CROWLER: Right. I am a doctor. I have a Ph. D in dueling! EXAM PROCTOR: In dueling? CROWLER: That’s right. EXAM PROCTOR: So, because you can play a meaningless Children’s Card Game, people trust you with their lives? CROWLER: I guess so. EXAM PROCTOR: Then, aren’t we all doctors? CROWLER: No. I actually got a Ph. D in dueling. EXAM PROCTOR: You don’t look like a doctor. You honestly look more like a gay clown. CROWLER: That’s what they all say. I imagine that they’re just joking. EXAM PROCTOR: (sarcastic) I’m sure that they are. (end sarcastic) Anyway, a new challenger just showed up. CROWLER: No, we will not test him. (phone rings. Extremely girly ringtone.)

CROWLER: Hello? SHEPARD: Test him. Bye! CROWLER: S***! He really has good timing. (censored)

ANNOUNCER: Jaden Yuki, please report to Arena #4 where you will face Dr. Vellian Crowler in a duel. JADEN: What kind of a name is “Vellian?” BASTION: Don’t mock him. He’s a good duelist. SYRUS: How do you know? You haven’t met him! BASTION: Occaisonally, I stalk people.

(Jaden vs. Crowler)

JADEN: What are you doing here? Where’s my opponent? CROWLER: I’m your opponent. JADEN: I have to duel a gay clown? CROWLER: Yes, you have to- Wait. I’m not a clown! JADEN: (sarcastic) Oh. Right. That part was the insult. CROWLER: What? Oh? You think I’m- Well, you are right. JADEN: What? CROWLER: Yes. I am the school mascot. We are the clowns! JADEN: Whatever. Can we just throw down? CROWLER: Yes. I think that it’s about time we give the viewers some action. JADEN: We have viewers? CROWLER: Yes. Approximately three. JADEN: Get your game o- EVERYONE: Shut up!

(Jaden draws 5 cards)

JADEN (thinking): Oh man. I really wish that I didn’t put 4Kids cards in my deck. How am I supposed to tell what these cards do? It’s just a picture and a color. What the hell? JADEN (out loud): I summon Elemental Hero Avian!

(Crowler hovers his hand over his disk. The card is drawn. He fails to catch it.)

CROWLER: Dah! You didn’t see anything. I activate Confiscation to look at your hand.

(He does so)

CROWLER: Let me see. You have Elemental Hero Avian on your field and Hero Signal in your hand. Clearly, this is an Elemental Hero deck. Therefore, the best choice would be to discard Polymerization. However, since I suck at this game, I choose Monster Reborn instead.

(Up at the stands with Alexis and Zane)

ZANE: I really hope that we get to see Crowler’s new card here. ALEXIS: No! Shut up! You only want to notice me! I’m here for you, Zane! Take me! Take me! ZANE: You know what I just realized? ALEXIS: That I exist? ZANE: No. How does 4Kids expect us to go along with this “new card” concept? It’s the main card in his deck for Pete's sake. ALEXIS: (thinking) Geez. How many implants do I have to get before he notices me? ALEXIS: (out loud) Who’s Pete? Someone I should know about, hm? Are you cheating on me, Zane!?

(at the duel)

CROWLER: (thinking) I can summon either Ancient Gear Golem or Emes the Infinity right now. Emes will be stronger, but I suck at this game, despite having a Ph. D., so I choose this one. CROWLER: (out loud) I summon Ancient Gear Golem! Destroy Elemental Hero Avian! JADEN: I activate The Bat Signal to summon Elemental Hero Burstinatrix. (Batman Music) Then, I use a Spell Card to get Avian back into my hand. I summon Elemental Hero Avian! Now, I play Polymerization! CROWLER: Then what was the point of summoning him? JADEN: 4Kids cut so much of this episode that it was too short. Therefore, we needed filler. CROWLER: I see. Well, Avian is still weaker than Ancient Gear Golem. JADEN: I play Polymerization! CROWLER: Oh yeah. I forgot you had that. JADEN: Seriously? You looked at my hand less than a minute ago. CROWLER: Oh yeah, huh? I get amnesia a lot. I need to see a doctor. Is there a doctor in the house? JADEN: Um, you are a doctor. CROWLER: I am? I must have forgotten. I get amnesia a lot. I need to see a doctor. Is there a doctor in the house? JADEN: No. No there is not. Anyway, I summon Elemental Hero Flame Wingman! CROWLER: That’s weaker than my monster.

(in the stands)

SYRUS: I don’t get it. BASTION: 2100 is less than 3000. SYRUS: Oh.

Caption: [they seriously explain that]

JADEN: I activate Skyscraper! CROWLER: That doesn’t weaken my Ancient Gear Golem. JADEN: Okay. There’s like maybe 2 field spell cards that weaken monsters. Why would you think that? Have you ever heard of common sense? CROWLER: No. JADEN: Didn’t think so. Flame Wingman, burn him! Burn! Burn it all! Oh, and also wipe out his life points!

(holographic rocks fall on him)

CROWLER: Ow. Ouch. This is a hologram and it hurts. What the- OW! AHH! Can I get a doctor please? JADEN: Nope. So, since I won, I’m in the academy. CROWLER: Actually, it’s my decision based on your performance in the duel. Since I hate you, I’m going to let you in. JADEN: And that’s a bad thing? CROWLER: Yes. Now, you must live through a 4Kids show. JADEN: Noooooooooooooooo!

Caption: [Zane and Pete have a date on Saturday.] Stinger (Anything creative that I can come up with :-P) Post-ending: (Shows the cheerleader scene from Episode 1 of 5Ds.) Cheerleaders: Go! Fight! Win! You can do it, Clowns!